Accrual and Dependency

The reason why I mostly handle my in person sessions as one off, once in a life time experiences (besides my coaching track which isn't about dependency either, rather support/guidance) is because I don't believe in cultivating dependency. I innately trust that each person I encounter has their own agency and strength in self. As I've written about in the past, I see the strength and gift in submission and do not think that being submissive makes you weak or dependent. And anyone on the spiritual path seeking a guide or teacher ultimately makes up their own mind. That's my vantage point as a healer. I don't believe in taking your power, I don't believe in making you dependent, I don't believe in cultivating weakness. Instead, I receive power in our set space-- it's a fluid exchange of giving, receiving, not taking as you, the sub, are receiving energy and act as the recipient of many activities too. I'm sure I could make a lot more money if I cultivated a sense of dependence, but that was never my M.O. I believe myself to be a catalyst for change, a conduit for healing (however, it was up to me to find the tools and know how to apply them to each person) but it's not my job to fix a person or tell them they absolutely NEED more of something.

As a domme, I understand part of the work is in an imbalance and in ego. The domme usually wants to be worshipped, the center of attention amongst a stable of slaves. Well, my handling most of my sessions as one offs counteracts that, and for the longest time I was closed off to personal slaves as I focused on my own healing and other ventures. I'm not an ego driven person- I never wanted to be the center of attention, and I give much more to my subs and slaves in energy, attention and care than I receive. That's why I keep my focus narrow. 

I understand that this isn't about me, it was never about me. And devotion to me is not devotion to me as person, as ego- it is actually devotion to the divine and the greater good. That's what I'm channeling into our sessions, afterall.

Acting

Has it occurred to you that we are all ACTING. Every single day of our lives? We may have a grasp of our "personalities" as is constructed and defined through living our lives, and other people may understand us as such, but WHAT IF all that we think we are is just a mechanism of control to feel safe in a predictable reality?

For instance, if I associate myself as "sweet", I act in accordance to that because then other people respond to me nicely. It's a way of controlling other people's reactions to me, because I have the experience of knowing that being "Sweet" begets a certain response.

But I am so much more than just that one quality that's come to the forefront of "who I am". We are all more than how we are defined, how we allow ourselves to be defined, and how we understand ourselves. Because we are WHOLE people.

When we let go of that subconscious control, we start to understand our real depths. We start to understand how much more is within our potential. We also start to see the full range, and appreciate that range, in other people. We can handle it because we can handle it within us.

The more we acknowledge things about ourselves, maybe qualities we've discarded, we can see how productive they truly are. Only when buried do they reveal their counterproductive sides- i.e. assertiveness can become aggression, confidence can become arrogance, etc..

Once in a while..

Literally once in like.. 8 months, I will take a pure BDSM session. This means JUST BDSM without a healing component. If the interests intrigue me that is.

Things that I like: 

Degradation, humiliation, erotic hypnosis, needles, psychological control and breaking someone down mentally, turn the tables scenarios, predicament play-- novel and creative play

The more intense, complex, challenging, mentally stimulating, psychologically provocative, the better. HOWEVER I must note that these are not necessarily a part of my healing BDSM sessions unless negotiated or are already a part of the sub's interests. These are purely MY interests in BDSM only scenes. If your BDSM interests do not fit into the scope of mine, we won't play in BDSM only scenes but there is a chance if you are the right candidate for a healing session, for us to engage in that format.

I am NOT interested in-- topping from the bottom. Sensual masturbatory shit, 50 shades of gray shit, bondage, placating you, getting you off

True Service

Since I was very young I understood that I wanted to be in service to humanity. I'd always looked at people in terms of, how can I help them? What can I offer them? I rarely factored myself into the equation.

Imagine my surprise when I recognized what kind of world we live in, one of takers.

Much of my life I felt taken advantage of and exploited, and for good reason- because I was. People like me who have soft, large hearts, who give more than they receive, who offer up everything because she sees you as part of the larger picture, she recognizes your humanity, she wants to help you, get run over. Until that is, they recognize their part in the larger picture. They understand the power of self-less service to the greater good.

And that's what I encourage from you. We must recognize we do live in a world ruled by money, human-dictated notions of power and authority, of selfishness and illness, of wanting to control things. With me, I encourage you to let go. I encourage you to understand true service, and the power of giving, even if it's just of yourself for a moment. I encourage you to understand non-attachment to belongings, to hoarding and lack mentalities, to let go of greed and needing to accumulate. What you can experience then, is freedom. And- the more you give, the more you receive. The more you create space by giving, the more it can be filled.

Receiving is very different from taking.

WHEN WE GET TO THAT PLACE, WE ARE UNTOUCHED BY HIERACHIES AND LIMITATIONS OF THE EGO.